| Looking for Passenger from DC to New Mexico |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|07:58 am] |
Hi Everyone,
I haven't written on here in a long time but I wanted to bring something up. I am driving to Albuquerque, NM and wanted to know if anyone needs a ride. Its a long trip and would not like to do it alone. I am leaving on Saturday. If anyone has an interest in driving out west, I can drop you along the way, with a 23 year old, political buff, please let me know. Thanks. Email me at paleo80@yahoo.com. |
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| Strange Activity |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|08:07 pm] |
I have several concerns for tonight. One, which I have left responses to on livejournal. Why does one of my roommates post photos, travel arrangements for the world to see on livejournal. Does he not realize that it is dangerous and in my opinion, rather strange? Anyone in the world could easily stalk you and find out where you live. I am surprised you havent given out the address to our home yet. Don't get me wrong, Jeff is a nice guy and is pleasant to be around, but some of his actions, seem out there to me. Are pictures not private outside the home, except to friends and family? Are arrangements of travel not private information anymore? Some things just do not make sense to me.
My second concern of the evening is this. I went on a date the other day. Clearly I am attracted to this guy. We have spent the last few days together, getting to know one another. My question is, if there isn't a spark and you feel your individuality being threatened, in other words your singleness, should you get out of the situation? Sometimes I feel I should remain single the rest of my life. On the other hand, I have been obsessed with finding someone who liked me and someone to date. Now I have, he likes me alot and I do like him, but not as much as he likes me. Also, yes this is the first week of knowing someone, but are there not rules to these things. When does someone use the word boyfriend? When does someone use the word love? When do you begin to feel for someone the way they feel about you?
I mean, my roommate is getting married, he is engaged, and how long has he known this guy or at least in person? This of course brings the issue of love at first site into the picture. Does it exist, and if you dont find it, does it? This sounds like Sex and the City dialogue, lol. Yes, my roomies relationship is cute, yes they do talk every night on the phone for many hours sometimes, yes I am happy for them, but sometimes it seems unrealistic to be getting married, moving in together, changing citizenship, etc.
Well if any of you have feedback on this please send me some responses. I would love to hear them. |
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| Seeing Friends |
[Mar. 9th, 2004|08:36 pm] |
I realized that I had not written in my journal in a few days, actually 10 days. I like writing in the journal but I am not sure I feel all of my thoughts should be posted live for the world to see. However, here it is, my entry for this wonderful day.
Since I returned from Wisconsin, the resume was sent out many times and had 2 interviews. Both organizations are honorable, but the pay is not the greatest, and not enough to make a living. Besides at this current time the issues of the environment are not going to be important in electing the next president. Civil liberties are an issue in the election, that is something I can work for.
Today though I was offered a position working as a regional director in the North Carolina Senate race for the Democrat running to replace John Edwards. He has a really good shot and I think this would be a good opportunity, especially for 3 thousand dollars a month. While on the Dean Campaign it was never about money because I was passionate about him, and would have done anything to help him, and continue to do so. Here it is different and I need to survive or I will ship myself back to California living with Mom, oh no!
"Could the strangling thoughts of individuals be collected, they would frequently form materials for wise and able men to improve into useful matter." Thomas Paine
This is the quote that I hope the Democratic Party will adapt to. They need to, its a corrupt party and with this simple quote by one of the writers of the American revolution, surely we can trace our history and do whats right for our Democracy.
"He that will promote discord, under a government so equally formed as this, would have joined Lucifer in his revolt." Thomas Paine - This quote is in reference to George Bush, he will join Lucifer even though I do not believe in God or the counterpart below us supposedly, Bush has done so many terrible things, that he deserves nothing less than to suffer consequences at the mercy of Hell.
On that note, goodnight all. |
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| Old Pictures |
[Feb. 27th, 2004|04:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
I just have to say, that I love looking back at old photos of the family. I do this constantly. It makes me smile and think of how great childhood was and also makes me realize how depressing reality and real life is and why our parents talk about their childhood in such a wonderful way. After working on political campaigns over the past few years and seeing how people respond and what their situations are, it is very sad and makes me want to help them even more.
"Perhaps we cannot prevent this world from being a world in which children are tortured. But we can reduce the number of tortured children. And if you don't help us, who else in the world can help us do this?" Albert Camus
There is always something each of us can do, and never think that if you do something that it is enough, because there is always something to do. What is a sin, is not doing anything to help a poor situation.
So an update on the fabulous world of grassroots politics. Governor Dean gave a speech last night in New Haven, CT and said he will announce what the campaign will we doing to further grassroots ambitions and influence the Democratic Party and its nominee at the convention in July on March 18th. I cannot wait, I will be on pins and needles till then, I'm so excited.
Hope all of you had another fabulous day, and its friday, thank goodness, now you all can relax, right? Well maybe some of you. Go do something fun. |
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| The Financial Times |
[Feb. 26th, 2004|12:32 pm] |
A little bit of trivia for all of you. Do you know why the Financial Times is the color pink?
In the first ten years of the paper's existence, it was similar to other's, it was gray. However, in the early 1940's, during the war, there was a shortage on ink and the paper could not continue to use the same ink as they had in the past. The paper therefore tried a new ink, which ran, giving the paper its color today. Not exactly the most detail oriented story, but thats what I know.
Since we are on the subject, do any guys really look good in the color pink? I personally do not and I have seen many men walk around in dress shirts with this color and I'm sorry but it is hideous, not only do you stand out, but shouldn't the question be, why should I stand out? Especially in that color. I don't care if you are gay or straight, colors have nothing to do with sexuality in my opinion, its just a bad color.
So, another issue involving relationships. When is being to open, bad? After having an experience of infatuation with someone I met a few months ago and now not speaking at all, I have gone from being hopeful in finding a guy, to believing that all gay men are sketchy and/or not all that interested in me at all. That is why I asked about the open question, because I am somewhere in the middle. My mom is the most open person I have ever met, my dad is the exact opposite, most people seem to think I am much more like my mom, but I really am not sure. However, I do not want to ever be closed, if I ever begin to sound that way or act that way, for those of you who know me, you have my permission to slap me in the face.
well, back to applying for more jobs. Have a great day. |
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| An Historical Question |
[Feb. 25th, 2004|10:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
President John Fitzgerald Kennedy had an engraving on his desk in the Oval Office during his brief stay there that read, "Oh, God, thy sea is so great and my boat is so small." I am still trying to understand what this quote means. Does it represent how insignificant humans are on our planet? Is it the stress that the President has with the enormous ills of the world? Is this saying that there is only so much one person can do in a lifetime? These are just some of my assumptions, tell me yours.
Well this was an interesting day. I baked about 6 dozen cookies, had clams and angel hair pasta with a delicious garlic butter white wine sauce, which I made in our fabulous kitchen. I must say, I am really pleased with the apartment/townhouse and its inhabitants. Sometimes I want to strangle its inhabitants but I suppose that happens to all roommates from time to time.
This is going off topic, but I love 70's and 80's soft-rock. I don't know why, I guess I grew up with it. Chicago, Bread, Hall and Oates, Richard Marx, the Eurythmics, Air Supply, Ambrosia, Foreigner, etc. They are just all so great. Reckon a lot of it is cheesy music, but I can't help it, I love it.
A last quote for you all, "It is always the season for the old to learn." Aeschylus' Fragments
How true this is and if they do not, imagine what a world it would be, we'd have stupid Parents. Sometimes I wish. |
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| Some Much to Say and So Much Time |
[Feb. 25th, 2004|11:02 am] |
"If we don't find anything pleasant, at least we will find something new." Voltaire
This is from "Candide," another of my favorite books.
This quote can mean several things, and something different to everyone. I believe for me it represents that, if John Kerry wins the nomination, it might not be pleasant for me or if he wins the election, at least he will represent something new. However it also represents a distinct view of unemployment. When I was working 18 hour days on the Dean campaign, it was hard to say I had little to do. Now, that I am home and looking for a job and sending out my resume constantly and getting few responses, it makes me wonder what we are supposed to do with our lives. There are other issues involved of course. I also want to date and meet people who I am compatible with. Is this a possibility, is it feasible?
Well, my roomie and his boy are still here, I wonder what they do in their room until noon everyday, other than having sex. I mean, is that all they do in there, because if so, they are amazingly quiet. Well, especially considering I sleep about 8 feet and a door a way and wake up after even a slight noise.
I do want to apologize to some of you, I know Roberta said something to me the other day about being intense about politics and even talking about politics as much as I do, and I want to say I'm sorry if I have alienated people on this subject. I do not mean too.
So, when I told Mom only a few months ago that I was gay, she went through all the irrational comments she could come up with in the 20 minute phone call. " Be discreet, be careful (meaning AIDS), are you going to become really feminine now, haha. Well, I simply said no to the last, but really, someone who is educated, like my mom, should think rationally for a moment before spitting out statements like that. I realize it was an emotional moment for her, but whats funny is what happened after. She asked me not even a week later if I was dating someone or interested, it was amusing because she conjured up the conversation herself, I never hinted that I was dating anyone. I think she thought that because I was so open about coming out to her that I would change completely and tell her everything that occurs in my love life. I response was "its none of your business" and then she said "it is." I then said, "Your divorce was none of my business according to you, so why should this be any of your business?" She did not respond.
My dad was the same way, first of all he was homophobic. This did not go lightly, especially considering my Mom told him when I told her not too, but I was glad it was out in the open, so I did not mind all that much. However, neither of my parents have said anything about it or expressed any interest when they clearly were, since then. I think they are scared and when I bring up what has happened in San Francisco to my Dad, he doesn't respond and appears to get uncomfortable.
Well, if anyone has any thoughts on this, please feel free to respond. Hope you all have a good day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2004|06:07 pm] |
"What it really all adds up to is love, the kind of love that is affection, respect, order, encouragement and support. Our awareness of this is an un-calculated source of strength. Because real love is unselfish and involves sacrifice and giving, we could not help but profit from it. Beneath it all, man has tried to engender a social consciousness. There were wrongs that needed attention. There were people who were poor and needed help. And we have a responsibility to them. Through no virtues or accomplishments, we have been fortunate enough to be born in this country under the most comfortable conditions. We therefore have a responsibility to others who are less well off." Robert Kennedy
This idea brings up the thought of transcendental theory. Are we all related to each other somehow? Being Jewish, was Hitler a distant cousin, is Saddam Hussein somewhere down the line? I cannot say why I just picked some of the most hateful people in the world, its what came to mind, for effect.
My point is, that apparently we are not. Whatever happened to love? Not just the love of family and friends, but love of country and world? Is peace, not an alternative to anything and everything in our lives? Simply by resolving situations, we are at peace. I promise I will not go off on a political tangent, but if peace is not an alternative, why not?
This is my philosophical thought of the day. Hope you all had a good one too. |
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| Voting |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|06:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Today I did my honorable duty, I voted in the March 2nd primary via absentee ballot. Yes, I voted for Howard Dean, and yes I still believe in his vision, so there. I'm so tired of fending off Kerry people, it just seems so fake to vote for Kerry, the majority of Americans simply do not know anything about the hateful man. He really does not care about you, he is only doing it to add something to his resume.
I had an interview with an environmental group today. I thought it went well and the woman was nice, but I am not all that thrilled about working there, I am much more interested in grassroots campaigning, which is what the Dean campaign has become and continues to represent.
This I feel pertains to the American people, " Man (in general) stands face to face with the irrational. He feels within him the longing for happiness and for reason. The absurd is born of the confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world." Albert Camus
For some reason the American people cannot choose either one of these options, and in turn does very little to help their own situation. This is a sad truth.
This passion for true Democracy that I have in our country does not come lightly. As for the Dean campaign, this is unfinished business. Governor Dean may have dropped out, but his vision goes on. Robert Frost said in a poem, I forget which one, but I will quote him anyway. "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."
All of a sudden I have begun to read on a constant basis. I have gone through 3 books in the past 3 months, which may not seem like a lot, but for me that is a record. I began reading Camus. I had read "the Stranger" in college and loved it. I then read "the Fall" and now I am reading "Resistance, Rebellion and Death." I know, truly uplifting. And the third book I read was a biography of Howard Dean, but that shouldn't surprise anyone.
Enlightenment must be flowing through me or something, I feel like I am symbolically helping the world by learning and reading more about it, but not necessarily doing everything I could to help it. Does this make sense? This is a time to take a breather, I have been on the campaign trail for a while, but then again I have to pay the bills every month. SCREW RELAXATION in other words.
My roommate said to me a while back that when you seek to find a boyfriend, he never appears, and he appears when you least expect it. Well, this anticipation is killing me, I have waited 2 years, or have I looked 2 years, I'm confused? Well, the endless search continues, but I think I know who my next date will be, hoping of course that he will accept. That requires asking, um, well I should just do it, what do I have to lose, right? Or should I ask my roommate for advice? |
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| A FIRST THOUGHT |
[Feb. 22nd, 2004|11:13 pm] |
Being that this is my first journal entry, I thought it would be important that I write like I do in my personal journal, with quotes that I enjoy. To warn all of you that read this, for the most part I will be posting quotes for than anything else, and there are quite a bit. I do give my opinion about things that bother me, confuse me, I understand and things I love. So, lets begin.
"Each time a man stands up for an ideal, he sends a tiny ripple of hope." Robert F. Kennedy
Another warning, for those of you who do not know, I am a big Robert Kennedy fan and worked on the Howard Dean presidential campaign. Now I am trying to continue to work on the campaign, supporting grassroots, which is what Governor Dean wanted us, as supporters to do. It continues to be a campaign to unite and empower all Americans, regardless of race, party, color, sexual orientation, etc.
This leads me to another quote from a favorite novel. "The mind of man is capable of anything, because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future." Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness.
This is something I just have to say. I am not sure why this bothers me, and I do not know why reading into it by stating it hear could help, but here it goes. My roommate's bf came into town the other day. He is a nice guy and I think Jeff and him are cute together. My problem is, not having been in a relationship in over 2 years, I am envious of them for some reason. Now, perhaps this is a jealousy issue as well, but I doubt it. What it is, is that I really want to have a bf myself, and having come out only a month and a half ago to my parents, I feel like it is time. The guys just don't seem to be flocking to me either. Then there is the gay-dar problem, how do you develop it? I am scared to ask guys out with the fear of not knowing if they are gay, so I don't.
Since we are on the subject of shyness, my roommate had a party the other night where he had two gay friends who were really cute and I did very little, if anything to make myself known to them.
Of course, when I say I haven't had a relationship in 2 years, I include not having sex in that period as well. This is not an invitation by any means. The reason I stopped having unattached sex was one, for the reason of feeling slutty, and secondly I wanted the person to stay in the morning and cuddle. I truly want a relationship with a guy, and I cannot seem to find this person. I want to wakeup to someone in the morning, knowing they want to be next to me because we love each other. There is another question, what is the definition of love? Are there several levels of love? Clearly there are different types of love, parenting love vs. friendship vs. relationship love.
Time for another quote, before I go to bed. "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Goodnight to those who read these journals and wonder who the person is on the other side. |
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